Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Zen of Pen

136.InnerPeaceBegins

Inner peace begins the moment you choose to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

Specifically, me.

– The Red Pen

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Darkside Omelettes

135.IfAnEggIsBroken

If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends.

If an egg is broken by an inside force, then life begins.

If an egg is broken by an invisible force, then Darth’s making breakfast.

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Swag!

Ok, I’ll admit it – I write all of these simply to make myself happy.  (I asked my therapist, and she says it’s an excellent way to express myself.  Either that, or it’s a nice guarantee that I’ll be coming in to see her for a loonnng time still.)  And it turns out that it makes me even happier to be able to put them on shirts and wear them in public.

But, look – now you can do it, too!

I’ve put a few of my favorites up at cafepress, which is, admittedly, not the best online print shop, but it’s fairly inexpensive and it’s not too hard to set up the shop.  PLUS I’ve set the markup to 25 cents on everything in the store.  (Why not make them free?  I have a quarter fetish.)

http://www.cafepress.com/dammitwheresmychocolate

And, remember – I’m not just the owner, I’m also a client:

DSC_0362

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Trust Me, I’m a Mom

134.TipsForSurvivingMorningSickness

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I’d Take Strong Over Weak Any Day

133.TheWeakCanNeverForgive

The weak can never forgive.

The strong don’t have to.

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Never, I Tell You

132.WhenSomeoneUnderminesYourDreams-2

When someone undermines your dreams,

predicts your doom, or criticizes you

in any way, remember,

they’ll never suspect a thing,

and

you’ll never get caught.

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Life Coaching 101

131.TheThingsYouArePassionate

The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.
Because, if there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s professional cat stylists for Facebook who earn money on the side eating nachos and watching American Idol.

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The Best Part of Coming Home

130.HomeIsWhere

Home is where your copy of Photoshop is.

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Ah, The Joys of Vacation

129.TravelBrings

Travel brings sand

back into your undies.

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GWAR!!

128.YouDanceToYourDrummerAE

A guest post from my dear friend, Lucy Leadskin:

You Dance to your Drummer,

I’ll Dance to GWAR.

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