Tag Archives: dwmc

This is True of Everyone

187.IMyselfAmEntirelyMadeOf

I myself am entirely made of awesome

stitched together with rainbow glitter shoelaces.

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Number 1

186.TheGreatestPleasureInLife

The greatest pleasure in life is doing people.

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True Love

185.IfSomeoneReallyLovesYou

If someone really loves you,

no matter how many other people they meet,

their feelings for you wouldn’t change.

Unless you forgot the mandrake.

Rookie mistake.

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Walking Away

184.SometimesWalkingAway_edited-1

Sometimes walking away has

nothing to do with weakness,

and everything to do with

superior firepower.

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Could It Be…Sharktopus?

183.AllIHaveAreMemoriesOfYou

all I have left are memories of you

and the way you kept saying,

” I bet that sea monster won’t come back”

when I told you not to

stand on the end of the pier.

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At Least I Think That’s What It Is

182.IDontTrustWords

I don’t trust words.

I trust pterodactyls.

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I’m Sure This is Really What Frida Kahlo Meant

181.TakeALoverWhoLooksAtYou_edited-2

“Take a lover who looks at you with fear in their eyes and lust in their pants.”

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Boom.

176.TheTrick

The trick

is to let

people know

how really

weird you

are.

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Helpful Hint

171.OneOfTheMostSincere

One of the most sincere

forms of respect is actually

listening

to what another

has to say

BEFORE

pointing out

how wrong

they are.

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170.OFFGRID

OFF GRID

  • No mortgage or rent
  • No electric bill
  • Free water with no flouride
  • Grow your own organic food
  • Total self-sustainability
  • Be with nature
  • Still have every modern luxury
  • Who’s with me?

Cost of suspended treehouse:  $20,000 – $40,000+

Cost of land in a pristine wilderness:  $15,000 – $300,000+

(Seriously, you have that much money just lying around?)

Cavities

Honestly, have you not heard of the Donner Party?

Chiggers, ticks and bears, oh my

Staph infections

E coli (from lack of refrigeration)

Not to mention that I, for one, am thankful every time I don’t have to climb down a tree to use the loo.

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