Tag Archives: dwmc


“In order

to love who you

are, you

cannot hate the


that shaped you.”


Bull.  Crap.

Seriously, no one likes herpes.

Or car crashes.  Or poverty.

That’s just messed up.

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World Domination, Again


Don’t carry your

mistakes around

with you

Instead, place

them under your


with the souls

of your enemies

and crush them

like grapes.


Sure, the wine’ll

taste terrible,

but who needs

culinary respect

when you can

rule the world?

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Happy New Year


Every time you are tempted

to react in the same old way,

ask if you want to be a

prisoner of the past or a

terrible warning to others.

Happy New Year

from the Red Pen

Let’s try to get it right this time, ok?

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Unanswered Prayers


Don’t ask God to move mountains.

You don’t know where she might

decide to put them.

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Guys, close your eyes.

Imagine you have a

daughter.  Imagine she is dating a

guy just like you.  Did you smiel?


Me, neither.

Honestly, I was hoping

for a lesbian.

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It’s Never Too Early To Start Planning for Yog-Sothoth


Time decides who you meet

in life, your heart decides

who you want in your life and

Cthulhu decides when

you’ve outlived your usefulness.

Happy Yog-Sothoth Day

May it not be your last.

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One-Way Love


I love you

to the moon.

It turns out that

jet fuel is expensive,

but I’ll think of you

all the time.

I made you a sandwich.

We only had tuna,

I hope that’s ok.

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Do you have a flag?


98% of my dating choices

boil down to whether

or not the person knows

the correct answer

to the question

“Cake or Death?”

with bonus points

for knowing what happens

after you answer


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I Keep Trying


“Excuse me, Ma’am.

But have you considered math?”

For some reason, door-to-door mathematicians

never caught on.

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