Monthly Archives: May 2014

Hello my luvvies,

I’m so sorry to have been away so much lately.  It’s surprising how long it takes to write finals that don’t just discourage students, they ruin lives.

Sadly, though, it’s almost the end of the semester and I’ll have nothing to do but think up more bad advice to share with you.

Hugs and kisses,

The Red Pen

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Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people…

a grenade launcher works.

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Running in Circles


She will chase around for awhile, but there’s going to be a day when she’s gonna stop running in circles around you.

That’s the day you’ll regret helping her take the safety off her crossbow.

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The First to Apologize


The first to apologize is the bravest.

The first to forgive is the strongest.

And the first to forget is the happiest…true story.

But the first to exact revenge…wins.

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Hipster Traps


The bears weren’t getting anywhere…

…until they stumbled onto a brilliant new way to catch humans –

hipster camping tents.

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