I think as you grow older
your Christmas list gets
smaller and the things you
really want for the
holidays can’t be bought.
You’d be surprised
at what a gallon of blood
and a plain white candle
from Pier 1
can do, though.
(I’m not the only one who goes to home improvement stores and imagines that all those suburban housewives are buying fancy candles for secret black magic rituals behind those perfectly-appointed doors next to immaculately-mowed lawns, right?)